Ever notice the women who speak most loudly about being “harassed” at the poker table are the ones that are young, pretty, stylish, thin and/or otherwise desirable to the opposite (or same) gender? Average, older, heavier, or otherwise not stunning gals are not having the same problem. Trust me on this.
Boys are hardwired to give pretty girls attention. Period. So get over the “Poor me, I am beautiful, and I get so much attention from boys in poker and it’s horrid” speech. It’s a silly, sick brag. It’s high-school. You are getting attention from boys, not exclusively poker boys.
Observe a poker table for a while and you will notice the jerks are jerks to folk of any gender. They will make anyone feel unwelcome if they are not getting their way or being slaughtered by someone of another race, age, gender, skill-level or who tilts them by taking their chips or challenging them. This has nothing to do with you being a female. It has to do with his/her ego overall.
Yes, poker is made up of predominately males. That’s the history. Do some resent the inclusion of women? Sure. Do players resent not being able to smoke at a poker table, cheat, go south, or not be allowed to carry a firearm in a casino? Of course. Even if they don’t get over it, it’s their problem. If you wanna play poker (real poker, not on-line poker), then you gotta play the player.
But wait, there is more. Girls are cliquish and judgmental. I have never felt as out of place or silently judged as when I have played at women’s only poker events. This is not a whine about all women, this is not a whine about ‘Oh, they don’t like me’, and it’s not a whine about my own personal hang-ups (of which there are plenty). It’s an observation how a relative newcomer to the poker-world has been made to feel by already established poker-playing females. If you are not a part of their group, or have the same outlook or demographic as their particular clique, you are out.
I will take a male dominated poker table any day of the week. The men might judge my looks, but they are doing so because of wiring and genetics, not out of snobbishness. They discount my looks (I ain’t no Bo Derek), take into account my age and gender, and put me in a category. They are generally polite. They target their play based on those observations & challenge me based on those observations. Guess what? That is what real poker is supposed to be. In return, I play the player and the game.
My experience as a female has been that most live poker games are NOT fraught with discrimination, sexism, the cold shoulder, or harassment. Most men are decent enough, and most women are too ~ if they are not travelling in packs. So, Barbie, I am taking your whines with a grain of salt, and maybe just a little bit of envy.
It’s is so much more fun to make fun of our poker-playing selves than to be all snobby and over-sensitive. If you are insulted by Marle’s Vlog Episode 6 , then you just don’t get it at all. And, ain’t nobody got time for that. —> Episode 6: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgpZbyFzGOY
Thanks for letting me post on F&O.
M.A. (Middle aged poker player Average looking female)
(approved by admin)
Well written! I too have witnessed much of the behavior described here. As a man at the table, I am going to try to exploit any and all weaknesses from any opponent at my table. With that said, if you are a cute female who is displaying your cleavage at the table I am going to look. If this upsets you then perhaps your strategy of attempting to distract me from playing good poker has turned into my advantage!