Talking or Not at the Tables

Do not be fooled by the hoodie, noise-cancelling headphones, and constant stare at the cellphone. You are not playing with a pro, a snob, or a jerk. You could be, but it is more likely you are playing with someone who just wants to be left with his or her own thoughts. The quiet ones have just as many tells as the talkative ones. The quiet ones play just as poorly as any random poker player. Do not be afraid. Do not be irritated. Don’t be pushy.

Don’t be fooled by the constant conversation with other players, friends, or the dealer. The talkative ones comment on their hands, on the play in general, the state of the world. They ask questions about your hands, what you folded, and what you would have folded if they had bet more. The gabbers play just as poorly as any random poker player. Do not be afraid. Do not be irritated. Don’t be pushy.

One of our new favorite follows is @DonkCheadle who addressed this in one (or more) of his many random ranting tweets. This guy is funny, blunt, and tells it like he sees it. Flynn envisions himself being the same, but we all know Flynn is just a drunk and a bird. Flynn, and other poor poker players like him need to have some good-old standby retorts for the pushy players.

Here are some of Flynn’s personal favorites:

• What did you have? Give me $ (the amount of my bet) and I will tell you. No one has taken us up on that yet. Ever.
• If I had bet more on the flop, would you have folded? Yes.
• Can you beat two pair? The chances of me answering that question are slim to none.
• Do you want me to call you? I will text you my digits after this hand.
• I should have stayed in pre-flop, I would have won. There is always next time.

This brings us to the question of why DO people who have earphones in, refuse to be social, take a long, pensive time deciding what to bet, and then over-bet when they play a hand irritate us so much? It’s not rocket science, you are not fooling anyone, and you are just pissing us off. Is that why you do it? Seriously, Flynn does not mind if you are quiet at the tables, but for heaven’s sake, it’s low limit. You are not on TV. Get over yourself.

Flynn DOES completely understand the need to think through a decision to CALL a large bet in front of him, and so therefore it also completely irritates the beejeebers outta him when someone calls a clock after 1 minute. Give the poor player a chance to think through getting felted for a few hundo for at least 3 minutes. You aren’t going anywhere. Have a cocktail and wait. Flynn will buy.

If you a Chatty Charles or Gabby Gabby, good on ya. Keep it up. Entertain the masses. It’s fun to have have fun, interact, and be social. However, PLEASE keep you voice at a tolerable level for you neighbor. Shouting, high-pitched, and annoying voices are, well, annoying. Have a modicum of self-awareness while you have a captive audience.

Dear reader, as you may have surmised by the snarkiness of this post, Flynn had another losing session yesterday. This makes 2 in a row (obviously unheard of). He still has not figured out who to blame.

Fin

Flynn